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Free Time Freaks Me Out

(borrowed from google images)borrowed from google images

I’ve got three weeks of “free time”, with student teachers taking over my class. Besides sparing time for class observations and mentoring, I practically have more time in my usual 8-hour days. Now what to do with this much time in my hands gets me into panic mode.

Whether it’s an extra 10 minutes, an hour, or a holiday, I don’t know why I cannot be at peace thinking that at the end of the day all I’ve accomplished is simply writing What to Do’s. Don’t think I’m on super busy mode the whole time. I’d mostly be sitting around with a magazine, dozing off a few minutes, preparing something to eat, or scribbling nonsense. But in the midst of this holiday mode, I’d be counting the minutes or hours I have left and how much I still have to do and haven’t started doing. And before I know it, my precious free time is used up. It’s Sunday evening, time to throw tantrums. Time’s up. And nothing’s been crossed out on my to-do list.

Free time freaks me out. On days when paperwork and house work fight for my attention, I look back on the days when I just sat idly and checked Facebook and Instagram updates. I don’t know why I should be guilty about these little pleasures, but looking at all the productive people around me, I think I should work harder on looking busy.

I wonder why free time makes me feel this way. I must have been a slave in my past life. Or I am simply a procrastinator trying to be better at time management. I am not a super-busy working mom, I must say. I have a regular 8-hour job. I do come home tired, but I still have the luxury to put my feet up and watch my husband wash the plates. However, free time is not a good memory on days when there’s hardly any time to even check myself in the mirror. It’s not that I wouldn’t wish for any free time, I wouldn’t trade 1-minute or 1-week holidays for anything!

Right now, I have exactly an hour before I start preparing for work. My to-do list only has one item for today: work. It’s not so demanding, is it? But before I start gearing up for a long day ahead, I have this one hour to waste or make the most of. There’s a fresh pile of laundry which I couldn’t possibly do in an hour.  I could start drafting an exam for this week’s lessons, but maybe that can wait. I can start organizing certificates and other papers I’ve acquired this year, hmm have to buy color-coded folders yet. And I have forty minutes left now as I am closing this paragraph. Ahhh…there’s this friend I haven’t chatted with for a long time. Maybe I can do just that…

Getting all the Inspiration I Need from the Rain and the Quiet Afternoon

I haven’t written for so long, I can’t call this writer’s block anymore. And I take this last free hour in the afternoon desperately typing and re-typing my thoughts on this draft. I have so many things to say, yet I have nothing much to say. The irony of my busy and routinary life.

In the background, drops of rain on the leaves and the roof. Behind me, my five-year old using up the last minutes of my phone’s battery watching Mickey Mouse episodes. In ten minutes, the husband will be home, and off I go completing the daily duties of a mother and wife.

Called in sick, but to be with my son who’s had fever for more than 3 days now. He’s fine, and I savor the chance to sleep off the afternoon and just do nothing. Not the least bit worried about the classes I left with my student teachers today. Sometimes I have to share the burden lest I lose my sanity. But I know I’ll still pick up where I left, and tomorrow I’ll be back to reality.

An Open Letter to Jennifer Lawrence (from a concerned fellow 23-year-old)

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An Open Letter to Jennifer Lawrence (from a concerned fellow 23-year-old)

Sass & Balderdash

Dear Jen,

Do you mind if I call you Jen? You’re so candid in all of your interviews that calling you Jennifer feels too formal, but I can’t use the name Jenny without thinking of “Jenny from the Block” (thanks a lot J.Lo). If you want my honest opinion, I think Jenna is probably the moniker that suits you the best, but that’s kind of a niche nickname, so I’m sticking with Jen. I guess it really doesn’t matter, because this letter has nothing to do with your name or what you like to be called, but I was hoping to capture your attention so you would really hear what I’m about to say to you:

It is not normal for a 23-year-old woman to fall down so much.

As a fellow 23-year-old, albeit one who has not won an Oscar or the hearts of countless devoted fans, I speak from…

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One Year Down–Twenty-nine to Go

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image

Finally. Year 1 is coming to a close. Soon, I won’t be called a new teacher anymore. And it seems like yesterday when I first stepped in this school totally clueless on what to do first– prepare my getting-to-know-yous or carry chairs from the stockroom to my makeshift classroom in the gym.

Today, I can wait comfortably in the classroom I’m sharing with another teacher. My initial dilemmas of having to teach subjects which aren’t within my expertise have now become past. I have learned to cope with the challenges of this new environment.

I don’t know what the surprises of next year or the years after that would be, but I hope I’d still breeze through the year like I’ve just done this one.

4 Phases Every Blogger Experiences

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Going through the stages…

A Collection of Musings

Before my first post, I thought writing was all you needed to do to run a blog. Perhaps it is enough to run a blog, but it’s certainly not enough to run a successful blog. If you write more than 2 blog posts you will almost definitely enter phase 1.

Phase 1
It turns out it is no fun writing if there is nobody to read what you are saying. So you work on getting followers. You tell your friends. Some of them start reading your blog. Some of them wish they could have a conversation without you bringing up ‘that damn blog’. And others ask you about it regularly, but never actually read it.

misspell-stages

Phase 2
Eventually you run out of friends to promote your blog to and you focus on finding strangers to read your work. Perhaps you start to follow other blogs and find like-minded bloggers. Or…

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Celebrating People Power

Celebrating People Power

While the nation commemorates EDSA Revolution…we celebrate the precious hours of no-work-and-school day in our little heaven

Fashion! Turn to the left.

Great writing! Will have your voice (and your wink) in my head every time I rummage frustratingly in the closet for something to wear. 🙂

Listful Thinking

On Friday mornings, I wake up in a good mood. It’s not just that I know the weekend is coming and that I can sleep in the next day, which means I can drink caffeine in the afternoon like one of those carefree types who can handle the raw power of a 12-ounce can of Coke. No, the last day of the week is a good one because that’s the day my co-workers have designated Plaid Friday. And on Plaid Friday, I know exactly what I’m wearing to work.

Too Much Plaid Hint: it’s plaid.

Monday through Thursday mornings, I dread getting out of bed because I know what comes next. Thanks to my ultra-conservative, conformist office environment, I’m going to have to put on some clothes. The Man is really bringing me down.

I’ve had nearly 24 years to figure out how to dress myself — and believe me, I’ve come a…

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